I Get Knocked Down...But I Get Up Again

Moving On Up

I have hit my best phase now for a few days and this is the last time I will get knocked down again just when I've started to recover.  Apologies to all of my readers out there because this is becoming a tedious storyline - Louie knocks me down; I get back up; repeat.  I'm sure you're all hoping for a more interesting plot twist!  Hopefully there's not much left of Louie at this point but starting Monday next week we'll be giving him (and me) one last whack of chemo.  

Until then, as this good phase continues, I can't help but wonder what a 6th good day will feel like...a 7th...a 14th.  Three weeks from now I'll be getting ready to find out!  During this 5th round I've started to count lots of things.  Maybe it's just my brain looking for something to solve.  I count how many things remain (like days of chemo) and I also count how many things I've already done...and all I can say is, I've come a long way, baby. 

To Wig Or Not To Wig

That has been the question for me since the time I was diagnosed.  It has been a surprising and constant source of contemplation.  And I've gone from one extreme to another and back again....and then back again.  (I have an idea...I'll count how many times I've changed my mind on this issue!) 

Hair is a funny thing.  More accurately, not having hair is a funny thing.  I've tried on wigs and walked away and I've learned more about wigs than I ever wanted to know.  I've worried about returning to work with no hair.  I've worried about wigs being uncomfortable...and creepy.  It's clear that the people who know me won't think I miraculously sprouted hair so I won't be fooling anyone.  But for people who don't know my story, the hats I wear sort of scream 'cancer patient' and I don't necessarily want to keep telling this story.  (As noted above, not a lot of plot twists.)  Some days I barely remember what my hair looked like but I can tell you that there's no wig out there that quite captures the unruly (and streaked with gray) nature of my natural locks.  Apparently that's not quite the look anyone's going for when they have a choice!  And so me with a wig on doesn't look quite right.  But me with a hat on at all times doesn't look quite right either.  

Back and forth and back and forth I went until I finally made a choice - I bought a wig.  I think I'll take advantage of both and then I'll donate my wig for a future cancer patient.  It's being made so I can't show you a photo of me in it yet but, here 'tis:

This is your cue to think aloud, "oh my gosh that's so cute; that will look really great on you".  Repeat.

I've also been researching what others have experienced in terms of how long it might take for my hair to grow back and I've found the photos on this website to be a helpful example - no need to read....just scroll through and look at the pictures.  No guarantee that my hair will grow at the same rate but it seems like I'll be able to walk around wig and hat free by June-ish...and that I'll be rocking a short hairstyle for a quite a while!  Until then, the wig will give me some options.  And depending on when you're hanging out with me, the option I choose may very well be bald.  I find it's very refreshing.